Free Tea

The Italian consulate might not be able to go for its Timmies run. Funny how our money looks like dead, wet, fall leaves.

If You Shower And Wash Your Hair...

... You can meet pretty girls out on the streets.

Hash tag: Zero motorcycle sighting in Toronto. The future is here.

I Miss Montreal

I may have to settle for paris. Fuck winter. Fuck the PQ.

Not Likely to Stir or Shake

We're making great headway as a species.

Can't Say No to Half Priced Prosciutto

Olive tapenade made a shitty, rainy, gray weekend slightly less shitty.

Boys Will Be Boys

And have a few kids and a van and boy that shit up.

Chicken Chasseur: Check!

Dream a thing and make it happen, good or bad, keep the power?

Chicken Tamale: Papagayo, Hamilton

Looking at preventive measures in the rear view on your way to doing something wrong, doing 5000 miles per hour.

If You Do It Well Enough (Addendum)

You feel like John Constantine performing excorcisms. That's more powerful than prayer in my book.

Foreskin on High Alert

Something at or around the Sony Centre attracted orthodox jews by the hundreds, yesterday. With the women and girls in long boring skirts and the men with the slinkies down the side of their faces, waddling along talking about... bagels... or the Gaza strip or something.

My penis felt like Denzel in Malcolm X, looking out through a crack in the window curtains, rifle in hand.

Phones are political tools. "Gaza" was pre-recorded on my T9.

Yellow Fever

I'd feel REALLY uncomfortable having sex  just after praying. If you do it well, you end up praying anyway.

When You Know

The earth shakes.
A celestial body with a case of the shivers;
Hold me, Paul Moonie.
A friend once told me:
"Niggaz is niggaz is niggaz..."

Do you feel her beneath you?
Leaving you behind;
Wiping your seed from her belly,
Finding another throbbing John
To fill her Lily.

Get shit done, don't look back.